Conster's Museum of MOSUGOJI
by Connie Goodnow

Mosugojis, as kaijuologists have determined , are a very special, unique species of Godzilla. This type can be identified by its wobbly jowls and its tendency to get wrapped up in miles of sticky white Mothra string (or, in the case on the left, wrapped up in Consters....) ;-)
To understand the Mosugoji more fully we must delve into his habits and determine WHY he is the way he is (as if you really could) and also explore why they make great pets!






 

JUST HOW DO I CARE FOR MY PET??

The answer is very simple. You will need to have a rather large backyard swimming pool for your pet Mosugoji.  The temperament of a Mosugoji is far more volatile and unstable than that of a regular Godzilla. Water has a calming, soothing effect and will put your Mosugoji in a relaxed, playful mood (see left).
 

TEMPERAMENT:

The temperament of a Mosugoji has a tendency to swing back and forth between very sweet and loving (to his owner) to very hostile and nasty (to any person or anything which Mosugoji perceives as a threat to his owner, or anything that pisses him off in general.) As a whole, the Mosugoji is a very loyal and loving companion. Here, Mosugoji is seen torching the obnoxious bill collection agency that gave his owner one problem too many. :)

TOILET HABITS

Mosugojis, believe it or not, are fully toilet trained. However they will need a toilet area as befitting to their large size. Anything that Roseanne Barr-Arnold fits in will suit your Mosugoji just fine.
 

 

DISCIPLINE

Your creature has a tendency to go to bars and (sometimes, not always) get highly drunk. In this case, you will need to exercise a firm, yet patient and gentle hand. This Mosugoji (and proud owner Scott Walker) was photographed in a bar one night after the Mosugoji had one Tom Collins too many.

MATING HABITS

How do you know your Mosugoji is ready to mate?? Well, if you start finding post office receipts for large packages shipped to females of the species, your Mosugoji starts commandeering your computer until twelve at night (or later) you find notes to said female object of affection that you are sure you did not write, then chances are your Mosugoji is ready to mate.

WHO DOES A MOSUGOJI MATE WITH?

Anyone he wants.

COMMON ILLNESSES

Sometimes your Mosugoji will suffer creaky joints. This is counteracted best by rubbing the shoulder and consulting a qualified specialist in radioactive herpetology. Sometimes Mosugojis also become prone to depression. The best cure for this is to spend plenty of quality time giving him love and affectionate attention.
 
 

PLAY

Your Mosugoji is especially fond of climbing up rocks and dirt piles. Make sure he gets plenty of fresh air and sunshine to prevent depression.
 

MOSUGOJI plays in the sand pile!
In Closing:

Mosugojis are a fun-loving, loyal, affectionate species and they make excellent pets. They can be trained to not leave the toilet seat up as well as pick up their own messes. However, Mosugojis are only affectionate to their own species, so if you have more than one make sure they're of the same species. Having two pets of different species is liable to ensure disaster for the non-Mosugoji. 

However, if you raise two hatchlings of different species they'll get along.

Well.... maybe not.


 


BACK TO THE MUSEUM!!!!!!! ;)