Godzilla: "Well Connie, being 400 feet tall hasn't been easy for me. I just have this way of attracting attention wherever I go! But stardom more than makes up for the difficulty of having absolutely no privacy."

CG: "Then you enjoy making these movies?"

G: "Absolutely!" 

CG: "Godzilla, tell me about your early days, when you were just getting started with this."

G: "Well, I was a college kid in the spring of 1953. I went to Tokyo University in Tokyo, Japan, and majored in the Arts of Train-Eating and Skyscraper-Toppling and Fire-Breathing. I got a bachelor's in Flying. I got a job as a bill-collector, collecting people's unpaid delinquent debts, student loans, and things like that. I was very successful in my work! "Then one day I got the phone call that changed my life forever. His name was Inoshiro Honda...I don't know, he was named after some car. And he said to me, "Godzilla, how would you like to be a star?" Needless to say, I jumped at the spot. Of course, the agency I worked for was very sorry to lose me." 

CG: "Tell us what happened the first day you arrived on the set."

G: "They started shooting in the fall of 1953. The first day I got on the set, they introduced me to this little Japanese guy wearing a rubber suit, and said that this guy would do my stunts. Of course, Harrison Ford stole this from me, but I stood up and said, "No WAY! I do my own stunts!!" The Japanese guy sat off to the sidelines for the rest of the shooting."

CG:"Since that first film and its immense success, you have gone on to do others, haven't you?"

G: "Yes I have. They hired my wife, Gigantes, to do the second one. She found it too grueling. After 30 takes of the scene where she is buried in an avalanche, she said to me, "Godzie, no more. From now on, you are on your own. Celebrity is not for me--it's too painful!" 

CG: "They had your wife pitted against a monster called Angorus. Who is Angorus?" 

G: (laughing) "Oh, him. Angorus and I go way back. We were roommates in college. We used to get into food fights and throw skyscrapers at one another!"

At this point, Godzilla's son enters the room. 

Junior Godzilla: "Hi Dad."

CG: "This is your son?"

G:"Yes! My wife and I had two. His older brother, Minya, is with us no longer; he's very busy making Michelin Tires and Pillsbury commercials. As for this one, we couldn't figure out a better name than Godzilla Jr."

CG: "Your wife stayed home with the children after she made her one movie?"

G: "Uh-huh. Gigantes was pregnant at the time; she was very grouchy and very whiny. I think that's why she swore off her career." 

CG: "If you don't mind, I'd like to ask Jr. a few questions."

G: "Sure. Go ahead." 

CG: "Junior, how do you feel about your father's success?" 

JG: "I don't mind it a bit. As a matter of fact, I've done three movies with my dad now, and believe it or not, it made us grow closer."

CG: "Please tell me about your latest film, "Godzilla vs. Destroyer."

JG: "The plot to the movie is somewhat complicated. There's this thing called an Oxygen Destroyer that killed off my dad in the first movie. The Oxygen Weapon has mutated the plankton in the ocean so that they become a powerful monster. My dad and I have to fight him. My dad is dying from too much radiation, and has to cope with the idea." 

CG: "Godzilla, there was a rumor that this would be your last film. Can you confirm it?"

G: "After 21 movies, who wouldn't be tired? Yes, the scriptwriter killed me off. I think it's time to retire. Then I can take long naps in the Pacific Basin and spent more time with Gigantes. My son can take over from here. I've taught him all he needs to know." 

CG: "Is there anything you would like to say to your loyal fans?"

G: "Yes, there is. I want to thank them for their undying support. My loyal fans are what made my success possible." 

JG: "I hope to follow in my father's footsteps one day and thrill and chill the hearts of vast millions. But I need to find a different format for my own films. My dad fought with all these monsters. I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Junior Godzilla reaches up, pulls down zipper to reveal his true identity: William J. Clinton.

CG and G together: "OH MY GOD!" 

CG: "Well, there you have it, folks....er, back to Connie's Museum of Radioactive Reptiles!!!!!