1. Godzilla is charcoal-grey with a rough-textured
hide. Barney is purple, fat, stupid, and ugly.
2. Godzilla was formed when a nuclear test was
conducted on Bikini Atoll in 1944. Barney was formed out of the quagmire
of the liberals' imagination (sorry, creativity) sometime a long time AFTER
1944.
3. Godzilla stands at about 150 meters and can
demolish Japanese cities in a single afternoon. Barney is a mere 1.5 meters
tall and goes after Japanese children in a single half-hour time
slot.
4. Godzilla can kill Barney with a single blast
of atomic breath. Barney could kill Godzilla by virtue of his obnoxious
purple embrace, sending Godzilla's blood sugar level soaring and sending
the great lizard into diabetic shock.
5. Godzilla is extremely powerful. It took an
Oxygen Destroyer to take him out the first time and a radioactive thermonuclear
meltdown to take him out the second. Barney is a total wuss, at the mercy
of the public television programmers.
6. Godzilla is slightly more realistic than Barney...but
hell, Superman is more realistic than Barney..
7. The biggest difference of all: Godzilla is
COOL! BARNEY SUCKS!
